


Deep Inside the Mind (There's a Little Place I Sit)

by esompthin



Series: Sanders Sides Shorts [3]
Category: Thomas Sanders
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Grounding, M/M, Morality is kinda kinky for like two seconds, Pre-Slash, grounding techneques, no one loves each other yet, they're still falling in love guys give them a second
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 05:25:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11097822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esompthin/pseuds/esompthin
Summary: When Thomas can't relax enough to make a video, no one stops to wonder why. No one except for the Prince. He goes deep into Thomas' mind to find Anxiety, where he stays with him until he calms down.





	Deep Inside the Mind (There's a Little Place I Sit)

Thomas had summoned them all again. Roman looked around, his smile fading slightly at the sight of Thomas. The man kept fidgeting, his eyes refusing to look into the camera. The Prince has never seen him like this before.

"Thomas, are you okay?" Logan asked, clearly seeing the same things that Prince was.

"Yeah, kiddo, you seem a bit stressed-o." Patton blinked in concern, reaching forward for to comfort the other man.

Thomas ran a hand through his hair, gaze skittering around the ground, "I-I don't know, guys, I don't think I can make this video today."

"Hey, that's fine." Roman said, ready to come to his rescue. "You don't have to feel entitled to making a video, especially when you're not feeling up to par."

Thomas hesitantly looked up at them, "Really?"

"Certainly. Your mental health should always come first." Logan said.

"Yeah!" Patton agreed, "Let's go have a cookie!"

"Okay. Okay." Thomas sighed, trying to force himself to relax. "Thanks, guys."

And it was over, the curtains closed and the scene was over. But something was still tugging at Roman's mind. He stared, watching, as Logic and Morality worked together to try to calm down Thomas. Something wasn't right. Why was Thomas so wound up anyway? What was wrong here? Where was the villain?

_Oh._

"...Uh," He said, gaining the three other mens' attentions, "Where's Anxiety?"

Perhaps it was a bit excessive for Prince to disappear immediately and go racing through Thomas' Mind Palace in order to find their fourth part - but when has Roman been anything but excessive? And maybe it was because Anxiety being in danger brought forth Roman's own, well, anxieties. He hated when there was someone in parel, especially if he couldn't help them. But there was something about Anxiety being distressed that made a shiver run down the Prince's spine worse than any of the Dragon Witch's spells. So he ran from headspace to headspace, trying to find where Anxiety could have locked himself away.

When he came crashing through a door, into a room, he almost ran right through it. It appeared empty. If it weren't for the almost _loud_ flinch that a figure in the corner made, Roman would've continued looking.

In the corner, curled up with his knees against his chest and his forehead on his knees, was none other than-

"Anxiety?" Roman breathed, slowly stepping forward. "Are you alright?"

Anxiety flinched at the question, a deep glitch in his breathing that made him curl even closer to himself.

Roman quieted his steps, his hands held up peacefully even though Anxiety wasn't looking at him. "I'm here to help you. What's the matter?"

"I- I can't breathe, I can't-" Anxiety whispered, his head in his hands. He was shaking furiously. The air in his lungs felt hot and heavy; his heart was pounding against his ribs. He dug his nails deep into his scalp, bringing forth sharp pains. "I can't, I can't-"

"Oh, Anxiety…" Roman sighed, stepping forward slowly, so not to spook the other man further. But it didn't seem like Anxiety could even tell he was there. He didn't react as Roman knelt in front of him. "It's okay, just follow my lead."

He gently pulled one of Anxiety's hands away from his head and placed it firmly against his own chest. Anxiety's fingers rose and fell in time with Roman's deep, even breathing. Anxiety forced his breaths to come out in the same rhythmic motion, pushing the air past his lungs with some difficulty.

"Yes, good." Roman praised, using his other hand to slowly tug at the fingers still digging into Anxiety's scalp. After a few moments, he was able to pull the hand down and leave Anxiety's skull unattacked.

His mind, however, was still under the rapid fire of horrible thoughts. The breathing wasn't helping. Anxiety ripped his hand away from Roman's chest and curled his head closer against his knees.

"Anxiety, speak to me." Roman said, soft but firm. "What are you thinking?"

The words surprised him.

"None of this is real." The voice was hollow, slowly shifting up from around Anxiety's legs. They hung in the air like a curse, filling the small room with a toxic kind of gas that had Prince's heart sinking the more the silence grew.

"I-I'm sorry?" He said, unsure what else to say.

"None of this is real!" Anxiety repeated, his voice growing louder as he quickly hid his fear being his anger. "This isn't real, you're not real, _I'm_ not real!"

"An-"

Suddenly, Anxiety exploded from his position, pushing Roman away in a fierce movement and using the momentum to jump up, standing over the fallen Prince. "It's all _your fault_! We're parts of Thomas' _imagination_ , you created us! You did this to us!"

Roman held up a hand, as he tried to get to his feet again, "Okay, okay, I can see where you're coming from. But, Anxiety, we don't have to live by the same laws of reality as Thomas does. What may not seem real to him can be real to you."

Anxiety just scoffed and rolled his eyes, trying to force back his tears. His hands were shaking by his sides, his gaze flicking from one corner of the room to the other. In this moment, Prince saw Thomas, standing there, looking like a scared child instead of the strong man he was. Roman understood why Anxiety could feel like an imaginary friend of sorts, something that doesn't truly and never will exist.

He doesn't even have his own face.

No one even knows his own name.

He's just an imposter, a shapeshifter taking a form that wasn't even strictly consented to him. Prince, back on his feet, steps forward. Anxiety steps back, his back hitting the wall. His eyes are wide now, accuitory.

"Tell me," Roman said, "Does this feel real?"

"No. That's the fucking problem." Anxiety hissed, his arms coming up to wrap around himself protectively.

"Okay. Okay." Prince allows, "So let's fix that."

Anxiety stares at him for a moment, his lips turning down into a deep scowl as Roman continues.

"Since… last time." Roman starts slowly, "I asked Logan and Patton for some advice on how to help. Tips and tricks. That sort of thing."

Anxiety did _not_ look pleased. "Of course you talk about me when I'm not there. So? What'd the Daddy Geek Squad say?"

"I'm going to try and ground you." Roman explained, taking another step closer. They weren't quite touching, but it would only take an inch or two until they were. Anxiety's eyes squinted in distaste.

Roman takes a second to remember his lesson with the oldest two mentalities.

" _It's called grounding." Logan explained adjusting his glasses. "It helps someone to reattach themselves with the world around them."_

_Roman's face lit up, "That sounds perfect!"_

" _Well, hold on, kiddos." Patton interrupted, "You shouldn't ground someone who's already upset. Punishment can only be given to someone when they're in a stable headspace."_

" _That's not- no." Logan stared at the other, shaking his head, "Ignore him. Here's what you're going to do…"_

"Deep breaths, okay?" Roman said, taking Anxiety's hand again and placing it on his chest once more. After a deep sigh, Anxiety finally silently agreed and breathed in time with the Prince. They did that for a few moments more and then Roman spoke softly, like he was talking to a sleeping princess, "Now, tell me five things you can see."

"What?" Anxiety scowled, about to pull his hand away, but Roman's fingers tightened their hold, just barely.

"Five things." Roman repeated, a gentle smile forming on his face.

Blinking around his frustrated tears, Anxiety looked around the small room they were in. It's a room from Thomas' childhood, where he used to play when his brothers weren't around. There were plenty of things packed into the small space.

"That toy chest." Anxiety mumbled, his gaze staying there for just a moment.

"Describe it."

"Why?" Anxiety's gaze snapped back to Roman.

The Prince smiled his most charming smile, "I can't see it. I'm focused on you. What's it look like? Describe it for me."

Anxiety wanted to protest, he's not stupid, he knows what Roman's doing. But he was so tired; simultaneously emotionally drained and wired to the brink. He doesn't know if he'll first self-combust from the beating of his heart or if he'll fall asleep into a good old fashioned Depression Nap™.

So, keeping his gaze on the toybox, he started to speak, "It's red. There's a shitton of toys falling out of it. It's next to a lamp. That's blue. The lamp's off. They're both in the corner of the room, next to the closet. Is that all, your majesty?"

"I'll count that as two things. The toybox and the lamp." Roman said, his hand winding up to play with Anxiety's greasy hair. He smiled encouragingly, "Keep going."

"Thomas' old Ernie doll is on the bed. The bed is shaped like a race car. The doll looks new." Anxiety muttered, his shoulders relaxing slightly at the feeling of fingers running through his hair. "The bed spread is plaid."

"That's four. One more." Roman whispered.

"I- I can see you." Anxiety finished. He stared at Roman for a long time. He observed the soft bow of his lips and the worry in his eyes. His gaze danced across the gelled hair and the strong shoulders that were covered by his white uniform. He looked at his own hand, pressed against Roman's chest and the paleness of his skin against the red sash. He tore his gaze away, instead deciding to stare at the wall. "You look like an idiot."

The Prince let out a soft chuckle. "Okay, tell me four things you can touch. What do you feel?"

"The oncoming doom of the pointless void of life." Anxiety immediately quipped.

"I meant physically."

Anxiety let out a long sigh through his nose and looked back at the wall over Roman's shoulder. "I can feel the wall on my back. It's hard and flat."

"Is it cold?" Roman asked.

"Not really." Anxiety replied after a moment, "But it's solid and unmoving."

"One." The Prince counted softly.

Anxiety closed his eyes. "I can feel your hand in my hair."

The hand paused, just for a moment, before the fingers continued to gently dig at his scalp in a soothing massage.

"It feels … not bad." Anxiety ignored the blush he could feel rising to his ears. He quickly carried on, "And I can feel your chest under my hand."

Roman's body radiated heat. It was incredibly warm and comforting to feel the living, breathing being standing so close to him. With a hand on his own, a chest under that hand, and fingers brushing his neck, he felt slightly engulfed by the other man. But not in a claustrophobic way.

He carried on his description, "You're still breathing. Unfortunately."

There was a slight tinge of annoyance in Roman's voice as he muttered, "Three."

Anxiety smirked at the tone. With his eyes still closed, he sighed and focused on his body and what it felt. "I can feel my jacket."

"Tell me about it." Roman asked kindly.

"It's heavy. I like it heavy… it makes it feel more," He didn't want to be saying any of this out loud, especially not to the Prince, "...nice. I just-"

Seeing how flustered the pale man was getting, Roman quickly abided, "Okay, that's four. Now, three things you can hear."

"My thoughts." Anxiety said instantly.

"Sure, but that's probably not physical." Prince shrugged, "Noise, Anxiety, not nonsense."

"Fine." Anxiety huffed. "I can hear you breathing. I can hear my heartbeat."

"And how's that sound?" Roman interjected.

Anxiety paused, not expecting the question, "Uh, which one?"

"Either. Both."

"My heart sounds…" _loud, terrifying, crazy, intense,_ "...stupid." Anxiety glances away, "And your breathing sounds…" _comforting, peaceful, strong, safe,_ "...stupider."

The Prince kindly didn't comment on his lack of vocab words. Instead, he offered an encouraging smile and said, "Okay. One more."

Anxiety thought for a second. He listened to the silent buzzing of the A/C in the small room. He could hear the echoes of memories attached to this room. In the distance, he could hear the thoughts at the forefront of Thomas' mind. He could hear the echoing footsteps of Logic and the soft chuckles of Morality as they roamed these lands calmly. He could hear the annoying pop song playing on repeat in the distance, and the internal groans that came along with it. Anything that Thomas' thought could be heard, if he listened hard enough.

Finally settling on something, Anxiety said, "I can hear 'Some Day My Prince Will Come.' Thomas keeps humming it. I don't know why, waiting for a man to save you is atrocious and illogical. Nothing has ever come from…" His voice trailed off as he looked at Roman. His hand was still on the other man's chest, their fingers were intertwined there. There was still a warm, soothing presence of a hand in his hair. He could still see the worry in his eyes. The care. Anxiety's mouth snapped shut and he looked away.

There's a playful smile on his face as Princey continues, "Okay, now two things you can smell."

"I can't smell anything in here." Anxiety muttered, but he tried anyway. "I don't know, your cologne."

"How's that smell?" Roman asked, a strange tone in his voice.  
Anxiety scowled, thinking, "I don't know, fine, I guess? It's hard to describe. It kind of smells like honey. I can also smell the dust of this room. No one has been in this headspace in years."

Roman hummed in agreement, glancing at an aging book with a fine layer of dust on it. "Good, good. Now, last one. Name for me something you can taste."

Anxiety blinked at him, "Taste? What, like my fucking spit?"

"What's the last thing you ate?" Roman asked helpfully.

Anxiety bit his lip, sinking away from him.

Roman's gaze turned hard, " _When_ was the last time you ate?"

Anxiety waved the thought away, "We don't have to eat, it doesn't matter. I can taste my spit. It tastes like my mouth. There. Am I done?"

Roman shot him a look that clearly said they'd discuss this more later. But, instead he took a deep breath and said, "More breathing, just for a bit."

Anxiety sighed, but allowed himself to breathe in time with the other man. They watched each other carefully, maintaining eye contact, until Princey decided that he had breathed enough.

"How do you feel?" Roman asked, his voice soft, but there was a flash of nerves in his eyes.

Anxiety let out one last deep breath before he blinked up at Roman, "I'm… okay."

"Just okay?" Roman raised an eyebrow.

"It's the best I can do." Anxiety snarled, a bit defensive.

Roman's hand slid down from his hair to his jaw. He cupped Anxiety's cheek, smiling at the dark scowl he got for it. "There's nothing wrong with that. It's okay to just be okay."

"Hm, never heard _that_ before." Anxiety quipped angrily to distract from the blush that having a warm hand on his face brought forth.

"Hey." Roman said, swiping a thumb across his cheek, "If you ever get this way again, come to me. Let me help you."

Anxiety's lip curled up, "Oh, my knight in shining armor is an idiot in tin foil. Lucky me."

"I'm serious, Anxiety." Roman said, the hand that was holding his against his chest tightened, "I want to be there for you."

Anxiety's throat tightened up at the tone in Roman's voice. A shiver ran down his back and he found that he couldn't breathe again. But this time in a slightly more pleasant way. Unable to blink, Anxiety stared at him, wide-eyed, as he whispered, "Okay."

"Okay." Roman nodded. He brushed his thumb against Anxiety's cheek once more before he turned and nodded towards the door, "Let's go. I think Thomas might be ready to make a video."

Wordlessly, Anxiety nodded and allowed himself to be led through Thomas' mind until they materialized. It was only when Logan noticed them, did Anxiety drop Roman's hand and step away into his shadowy space.

"Hey, guys!" Patton said once he saw them, "Thomas and I had some pizza and a few cookies-"

"Several dozen cookies." Logan interrupted.

"And we watched Peter Pan." Patton continued as if nothing happened, "while Logic pointed out all the continuity errors. So now I think we're up to starting that video! What'd'ya say, kiddo?"

Thomas took a deep breath, a smile forming on his lips, "Yeah, actually, I'm feeling a lot better now. So, if you guys are ready, then let's get started."

Anxiety shot Roman a quick glance. The Prince smiled and took a very clear deep breath, keeping eye contact as he did so. Anxiety did the same, before flicking his gaze back to Thomas, who was already turning the camera back on.

"Hey, guys, gals, and nonbinary pals!" Thomas said excitedly.

Anxiety couldn't help himself for being a bit quieter than usual. He didn't fight with Roman as much and he didn't shoot down Thomas as often. Today he wasn't a massive pain in the ass. No, today, he sat.

And he watched.

And he felt.

And he listened.

And he smelled.

And he tasted.

And he _breathed._

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think!  
> Come chill with me on [tumblr](https://esompthinfics.tumblr.com/)


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